The Writerly Update: The Case of the Broken Compass

[babarnett]

My internal writerly compass has been feeling a little on the broken side.  Perhaps my muse, being a surly plumber named Jim Bob, has some sort of magnetic contraption in his tool kit that's throwing my readings off.

I know we're generally our own worst critics, but lately I've been trusting my own judgment even less than usual.  Why does this story click while this other one that I thought was equally awesome doesn't?  Clearly there's a difference, but it beats the hell out of me what that difference is.  And Jim Bob ain't helping.  He's crouched down under the sink with his butt crack showing, muttering, "I'm the idea guy.  What you do with them's your problem."
 
And then the judgment distrust starts trickling down from the macro to the micro level as I write.  Does this scene actually work?  I think so, but I also thought that other thing worked before all those responses suggested otherwise.  And what about this paragraph? And this transition?  What about that sentence? Or that word?  This bit of punctuation?  Am I even writing in English?

With all of that going on in my head, I've ended up writing only about 800 words over the last four weeks.  That's a bit pathetic.  Normally I could excuse that by saying revisions are generally slower, but since where I'm currently at with My Big Fat Epic Fantasy Novel involved writing a whole new scene that I should have been able to spew out fairly quickly (the aforementioned 800 words), my excuse is kind of crap.

Time to see if I can get a good deal on a new compass, or at least figure out what's screwing my current one up.  If it's not Jim Bob messing with it, then I suspect my internal editor.  She's been looking a little shifty lately.

Comments

[jennygordon.livejournal.com]

Lol - I love the idea of your muse being a surly plummer called Jim Bob! Perhaps if you sit him down with a nice cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit he might be more co-operative ...

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

I think Jim Bob would respond better to an offering of beer and nachos. :)

[jtglover.livejournal.com]

Dislike! I've had times like that too. Maybe you need to take a break and work on a piece of flash for a day or two? That's broken the spell for me on occasion...

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

I suspect that job stress and being sick for a good chunk of days have probably contributed to feeling like this. But I think I may try tackling something non-novel this weekend. If not a flash piece (though that's the likely candidate), than at least something else that utilizes the fiction writing gears.

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

Those 800 words aren't a good indicator of the work you've done. I stopped doing a word count during revision. Sometimes, I'll work for hours on revisions with no measureable change in word count, but I've bloody well done a hell of a lot of good for the manuscript.

If something's not working for you, change the POV, change the setting, change something. You don't necessarily have to KEEP that change, but looking at it a different way often helps in seeing what went wrong. It's like when you're looking at a painting and then someone flicks on another light, and all of a sudden, there are carnivorous zombie-birds in the trees over that lovers' picnic that you hadn't seen before. Shazam! A little change and it's a whole new picture.

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

The thing is, though, I don't know if anything has gone wrong. I can change it up (and have...this revision has been all about changing it up), but I don't trust my judgment enough right now to know if the change is good or bad or if it even made a difference. Instead of having an aha! moment upon seeing the carnivorous zombie-birds, seeing a whole new picture leaves me wondering if it's the right new picture, or if it was better when I didn't see the lurking horror in the trees, or if I shouldn't have included a scene with trees and picnicking lovers in the first place. It's like my gut instincts are off on vacation somewhere, kicking back with a pina colada and a cabana boy and ignoring my phone calls.

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

Do you have a crit group? Or at least one other set of eyes on your work?

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

Yup. Which is normally very helpful, because normally I'm good at sifting through what's useful to me and what's not, and what, while pointing to one issue for the critiquer, actually makes me see that there's a deeper or different issue going on. But with my gut out gallivanting with cabana boys, other sets of eyes just leave me more confused than anything right now. "It's really well written, but...", except all the buts are different. I'd kill for some uniform but-age about now.

I suspect that this is mostly job stress and me having been sick a big chunk of days putting me in a state of temporary kerfuddledness. Maybe after a relaxing weekend of Halloween candy and bad horror movies, my gut will be back from vacation. :)

[hildebabble.livejournal.com]

Don't stress the production. No point in paddling upstream if it's not the direction you want to go in. (This is what I keep telling myself, anyway.)

Last night I sat down to send out a story I've been tiptoeing around. I thought "just one more little read-through." What was going to be a fifteen minute chore turned into a three hour obsess-fest over individual word choices. What the hell's going on? Is it the weather?

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's something in the water. Some sort of wacky government experiment that's going to turn us into zombies or two-headed mutants or surly motor vehicles employees.

[hildebabble.livejournal.com]

Eww, are those the only options?

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

Well, there's always the possibility of ending up with cool super powers instead. But if I had to choose between the non-cool options, I'd pick zombie or mutant over motor vehicle employee every time.

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

I hate it when I go through the self-doubt periods! Hang in there!

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

These bouts are quite frustrating, aren't they? I do have the sense that this a phase with an end in sight, at least, so that makes the burn on my hands a little more bearable as I hang in there. :)

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

"End in sight" is good ;o)

[writerjenn.livejournal.com]

Been there.
Are you having fun? Are you eager to write this story?

p.s. It's usually the internal editor who brings all that doubt to the party.

[babarnett.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, very eager to write this story. And the more I get to know the characters, the more fun I have with them. I think my internal editor and I need to have a little chat...the kind that will probably end with me slipping her a Valium and stuffing her away in a closet for a bit. :)